Gang of wild turkeys terrorize small Oregon town

Pilot Rock City has had enough. The residents are tired of cowering in their homes with the blinds drawn while a horde of enraged turkeys terrorizes their community.

The fowl-army rolls into Pilot Rock in numbers reaching up to 70, but in classic guerrilla warfare style, the birds splinter into smaller groups when they hit the town.

Turkeys EJ Harris
E.J. Harris captures captures the turkeys in a field.

They mob through the town committing crimes, leaving behind their trademark brown feathers. The nefarious birds are accused of loitering in trees, destroying private property, and covering a pick-up truck in poop.

“Nothing is left,” one resident, whose landscaping had been damaged, told the Pilot Rock City Council. “They dust bathe in the soil. They eat whatever is there.”

Ominous gobbling echoes throughout the town at dusk. But, the residents are already plotting vengeance against the depraved fowl.

turkey pilot rock

Retribution will be had. The town of Pilot Rock will fight back! They’ve already made a few action plans, ranging from putting up a turkey-fence, to gently relocating the savage hell-birds, to breaking out their shotguns and going on a good ole fashioned turkey hunt.

It’s man vs. bird, and who knows who will survive.

turkey pilot rock

For more badass animals, check out the Brooklyn Bull who single-hoovedly evaded the NYPD.

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